Riding the Struggle Bus

    As I sail through the ever-changing tides of life, there are moments when I find myself firmly planted on the struggle bus. Whether it's trying to keep up with the whirlwind pace of the school year, striving to reignite my kitchen mojo, or simply seeking that delicate balance between home and work life, the journey can often feel like a bumpy ride. As 2023 turned into 2024, it seemed like the bus was hurtling forward faster than ever before, leaving me scrambling to catch up.

    In the midst of this chaos, I also find myself grappling with personal challenges, such as rediscovering my kitchen mojo. Whether it's experimenting with new recipes, honing my culinary skills, or simply finding the time and energy to cook amidst my busy schedule, the kitchen can often feel like a battleground. Yet, it's in these moments of struggle that I often discover my greatest strengths and resilience.

    Finding balance between home and work life has become an increasingly elusive goal as the days whizz by. With demands from both ends pulling me in opposite directions, it's become imperative to carve out moments of tranquility amidst the chaos. Whether it's taking a leisurely stroll in nature, indulging in a favorite hobby, or simply spending quality time with loved ones, finding that delicate balance is a paramount priority.

    Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, I also find solace in simpler pursuits, such as raising chickens and reading more books. There's something inherently therapeutic about tending to a flock of feathered friends or losing myself in the pages of a captivating story. In these moments, I find respite from the trials and tribulations of everyday life, reconnecting with the simple joys that bring meaning and fulfillment.

    So, as I continue to ride the struggle bus through life's twists and turns, let me remember that it's not the destination that defines me, but rather the journey itself. In the face of adversity, let me draw strength from my resilience, courage from my struggles, and hope from my dreams. And remember, even on the roughest roads, there's always beauty to be found if I'm willing to look for it.

New additions to the flock!

Alex and his entourage of hens.

Spring break reading.

New Beginnings

Goodbye 2023, and hello 2024! It's surreal to think that four years have passed since I embarked on my student teaching journey at Hoffmann Elementary. Third grade – that was the sweet spot. I remember the joy of connecting with my students, the thrill of helping them learn and grow. Fast forward to March 2020, and the world as we knew it unraveled. Virtual teaching became the new norm, and sadly, I never had the chance to say a proper goodbye to those kiddos.

So much has changed since then. In the face of the pandemic, people came together, united against the common enemy that was Covid-19. Neighbors supported one another, and there was a tangible sense of kindness and solidarity. But here we are today, and it feels like that sense of unity has faded away. The world appears more divided than ever, and I can't help but feel a deep sense of loss.

I find myself questioning the purpose behind the choices I've made. Why did I start blogging back in 2008? What was the driving force, the spark that led me to share my thoughts and experiences with the world? As I reflect on these questions, I'm confronted with the realization that perhaps, over the years, I've lost sight of that initial purpose. It's disheartening to witness the current state of affairs and wonder where we went wrong.

As we step into 2024, I yearn for a return to the sense of togetherness that once defined us. I hope to rediscover the purpose that fueled my passion for blogging in the first place, and in doing so, contribute to rebuilding the connections we seem to have lost along the way. Here's to hoping for a brighter and more united future in the year ahead.

Three Years. What a ride...

 I feel like I'm going into confession... Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been three years since my last blog posting. 

To say it's been a wild ride would be an understatement. Wild. Crazy. Up. Down. 2021 started with a bang. Life circumstances changed drastically for me. I don't have the stamina to go into details about what happened; however, I will say that the outcome was better than I could have imagined. 

We sold our house on Pitcher Road in 2021, and we lived a minimalist life for eleven months. My MIL passed away in October 2021. We went to Mexico in December 2021. In April of 2022, my husband and I took the trip of a lifetime: a Viking river cruise from Paris to Prague. In June 2022, we went to Italy, Greece, and Croatia. In August 2022, I got my first teaching position as a 7th Grade ELAR teacher at Sam Rayburn Middle School in San Antonio. In June 2023, we went to Spain, France, and Italy. In August 2023, I started my second year of teaching. 

It's Christmas Day 2023, and I am feeling blessed. I'm moving forward and enjoying life.

Reset. Perspective. And other things I tell myself to get through.

 As I sit here with my coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer, dog snuggled on my lap, Christmas lights all aglow and my youngest lovebug drawing anime, I reminisce about the year that 2020 has been. What a year. I know. So many people are saying the same thing. This isn't new, and I have no true insight that's going to be magical for others; however, I do have a different perspective for myself. That means everything to me in this moment. 

If you had asked me in March what my biggest struggle was, I would have told you "making it through Demonstration Teaching in one piece" because that was my biggest struggle. It's not so much that it was "hard" but it was time-consuming. I loved it! It is the greatest experience of my WGU scholastic career. Amazing host teacher and amazing third-graders. It pretty much became clear that third grade is where I wanted to be. On March 6, 2020 I taught my last lesson of my Teacher Work Sample unit: Area and Perimeter. We did some fun things because it was the Friday before Spring Break and we were all ready to have a break! January and February are long months with very few breaks. In the world of education, a lot of data happens during those months. It can be exhausting. I said good bye to my students, wishing them a great Spring Break, thinking I'd see them in the classroom on March 16. 

My mama arrived on the afternoon of March 6 and we were so ready to have her! We had been anticipating her visit for weeks!

Spring Break started with a competition on March 7. Winter Guard performed their "No Strings" show and received a fourth place finish. We came back from that competition ready to do what it took to improve and make it to State again as we did in 2019. Plans were made to chill and rest for Spring Break. Hubby went to visit his mom in New Mexico to take care of some things. Life was pretty good, all things considered. None of us had any idea of what was coming. Spring Break was extended a week. What a bonus! We still didn't have any idea of what was coming. We knew it was called Covid-19. We knew it was highly contagious. Beyond that, we knew nothing. School went virtual. 

Life moved forward but I could not. I focused what energy I had on completing my DT and preparing for graduation and licensure. I did everything that I could to make my daughter's seventeenth birthday memorable. I could not escape the fear of the virus. There was a lull, we all got complacent. Took a trip to see family. Yet, I wasn't fully embracing life and the process of moving forward. I kept telling myself, it's okay to feel this way. Reminding myself that this was new, and it was okay to process it however I needed to because we'd never experienced something of this proportion in my lifetime (that I remember at least). 

Those are the lies that I told myself to get through. That I just needed a reset and then everything would be fine again. I just needed to change perspective and appreciate the good things that I have in my life. Pandemic fatigue is real. Disillusionment with the American political system is real. Don't just tell yourself that you need to suck it up. Don't tell yourself it's weak to feel afraid and overwhelmed. We are in unprecedented times. There isn't another way to explain it. 

How has my perspective changed? I went through something life-altering in November. I got sick. And it was scary. And I still feel it. But, now I have an experience to share and I don't think that I could have gotten through it without my faith. I have a renewed sense of hope. I believe that we will get through but I will never again tell somebody "suck it up" and that "everything is gonna be okay." I think we all know that but we need to be able to feel what we feel in that moment. And that's okay. 

The Longest Year Ever.

 Where do I begin? Um. Yeah. I don't even know. I haven't blogged in over two years. No shame here. Sorry. Life, school, marching band and a lot of other things happened during that time. I cannot even begin to comprehend how I managed. No lie. 

Here's a brief recap of the last two years: marching band, cruise, school (Mom, Dad & kiddos), Christmas, Hockey, Winter Guard, marching band, school, family cruise, Christmas, Hockey, Winter Guard, COVID-19, quarantine, demonstration teaching, distance learning, virtual band camp, EPIC road trip in brand new travel trailer, stockpiling of hand soaps, graduation and teacher licensure, senior pics, senior year... Holy smokes... We were busy in 2019/2019 and confined for most of 2020. Yikes. 

2018

Summer Band Camp

Marching Band

2018 Marching Show: 1,001 Nights

Sophomore Homecoming Mum

Sophomore Pink Out Game

2018 Carnival Valor Western Caribbean Cruise with Honey Bunches

2019 Winter Guard Show: Statuesque

2019 TCGC Scholastic AA State Champions!

HAMILTON! (2019)

Twenty One Pilots Concert (2019)

Whew. That's not even all of 2019! I'm taking a break, and I'll add more to this post as time permits. I'll publish as is, not sure if this blog is frequented anymore but it's great reference for me. Hopefully it'll preserve my memories. 😂😂😂

Okay, now for the rest of the pictures? Maybe. We will see how that works out. 

Labor Day Weekend Trip to Kemah, TX 2019

2019 Marching Show: 07 December 1941

USBands National Champions at The Salute to Veteran's

November 11, 2019 

Best Color Guard

Family Cruise to Grand Turk

November 2019

Winter Guard Show 2020: No Strings

And then the world descended into chaos...

COVID-19

Rainy Days and Mondays.

It's another Monday here in the Lonestar state and we're in the middle of a thunderstorm. I am very thankful for the rain it's bringing because we had such a dry spring. We need the rain to bring green to the brown grass. We're also in Stage 2 water restriction so I am hoping that the rain we are getting will help alleviate the stress on the Aquifer.

Summer break is in full swing and this summer has been a doozy! I can't even begin to wrap my brain around all that has happened this summer. We took a family vacation and Bug was able to go with us which is awesome. It doesn't usually happen that way. Of course, it's still been a busy summer and Band Camp starts in two weeks. UGH. And before you know it, it'll be time for school to start again.

I am enjoying the time with my love bugs but I am feeling more stressed this summer than I normally do. It's most likely the combination of having all of the kids home and trying to get my coursework done. I wanted to accelerate a bit this summer but I don't think that it's going to happen. I am trying to make peace with that.

So, as I sit here enjoying my coffee, I am thankful for the time that I have been given. And I am trying to get my kitchen mojo back. There's a lot of things that I'm trying to get back. It's going to take some time. 💛 but that's okay.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday's 10

I have not done a Tuesday 10 for awhile but I think it's time to do another one!

1. I am currently working on getting my BAISK8 from WGU, but teaching is not my end goal.

2. During my first round of college (1996-2000), I tanked my credit. I rebuilt it and then tanked it again after my divorce from the first hubby. After getting remarried, I avoided my credit and buried my head in the sand, feeling like my current husband could handle things. I am currently working on rebuilding my credit and have been since 2015.

3. Up until September 2017, I was pretty good at menu planning and keeping to a specific schedule for cleaning. Going back to school is hard, yo!

4. I LOVE psychology and counseling. It's fascinating to learn how the brain works and trying to find ways to reach the minds of my children.

5. My favorite bird is the Northern Cardinal.

6. I recently started a project that requires going through my old photos. This is very nostalgic. 💛

7. For 2018, I have read ONE book for fun. Last year I had over 50 books read for enjoyment.

8. I drive a 2018 Nissan Rogue that is equipped with a navigation system. I don't know how I managed with just Apple Maps for navigation until now. 😂😂😂

9. I'm pretty hardcore Apple product fan. iPhone, iPad and MacBook Pro. I love how everything transfers between the three seamlessly!

10. I turned 40 in April. I thought I'd feel more accomplished by the time I turned 40. That's ok. I'm working on it.

Where I've been...

This year has been a crazy rollercoaster ride. It's been nearly a year since my last post and I've accomplished a lot but I've also have some setbacks. It's okay. I am trying not to be too hard on myself.

In June of 2017, I started the process of going back to school. It wasn't an easy process. It'd been seventeen years since I finished at Bemidji State University and twenty-one years since I graduated from high school. I had to track down transcripts and it wasn't just my college transcripts. No. I had to track down my AP scores from high school. Yeah. My records were so old, it wasn't available via the online database. Nope. I had to fill out a form to have it processed. As in, a paper form. As in, print it out and use a pen! What?! Okay, not to be melodramatic but, that was quite the process! I had no way of tracking how long it would take my records to get from point A to point B. That's hard for a planner like me. Little did I know that it was only the beginning of having to learn how to adjust my sails because there were a lot of changes that happened that I couldn't just "plan" for. I had to learn to rely on the process to unfold as it would unfold. That was hard for me.

Once everything was in place, I was set to start school at WGU-Texas on September 1, 2017. My term was six months and included four courses. I was able to complete the four courses within the first four months and then I moved one forward one term. And I'm now on my second term and I have completed two courses in two months. I'm still feeling pretty good about the progress I'm making in school. However, my home life and personal life has taken a little bit of a hit, and it's bruised the ego a bit.

My brain has been exhausted from trying to do the education thing and it takes a toll on my body. My housework has taken a back seat to school and I've not kept up with the cleaning and laundry like I had been. This is very embarrassing to me. It's hard to admit. At what point do you tell yourself it's okay to pursue your dreams and ask for help in the areas where you need it? It's a slow process. I take it day by day. That's all that I can do.

But, I am proud of myself, and I know that my family is too. That's all that matters. 💛

Summer is HERE!

June has come and gone in the blink of an eye. It's hard to believe that the girls have been out of school for almost a month! WHAT???

I thought that life would get less busy when school ended. I was wrong! We had a few days of solace before the summer travels started. I am thankful for that time to recuperate and I am also thankful that we have the means and ability to travel.

On June 6, Princess Cranky Pants left for NYC on a trip with her theatre and choir classes. It was a whirlwind of sight-seeing, drama workshops and Broadway musicals. She had a blast! It was the trip of a lifetime for her and it left her wanting to do more travel. I don't blame her at all.

On June 16, we left for MN to attend my oldest niece's graduation party and visit with family in MN and IL. It was busy, exhausting, at times stressful, peaceful, relaxing, and long overdue. I am currently trying to catalog everything that we did in the month of June and I think that it might take me awhile to get the pictures sorted and everything documented. Whew! What a crazy and fun month it was. I'm looking forward to keeping busy in July and August.

I'm currently working on DIY projects, recipe testing, museum trips, and other fun summer activities. I'm crazy tired, but, I'm crazy content.

Summer is COMING!

At the end of the day tomorrow, I will have a freshman and a first grader! Where does the time go? This year has gone by very quickly and I am not prepared for summer. It's time to make my summer bucket list. Perhaps this will be the year that I tackle more than two Pinterest ideas. Or, maybe I'll just not do any DIY this summer and just soak up the nothing that needs to be done. We'll see how that works out.

Accountability

I have fallen away from my 3x a week gym visits. I was doing well until November/December hit and we encountered the holiday crunch time. It seems like school events multiply during the months of November and December; add to that holidays like Thanksgiving & Christmas and a birthday and it's a recipe for insane busyness. That's not a good excuse. There's never a good excuse.

I couldn't fit going to the gym into my schedule and doing my workouts at home proved to be difficult for me. Weight loss and working out is very personal to some and it's hard to do it with a "familiar" audience. At the gym I don't care because I don't know the others there and they are there for the same reason that I am. That's not to say that I think that my family is going to judge me because that isn't the way I think about it at all. It's a conundrum.

Add building a house/closing on the house to the holiday craziness and it seems like a recipe for failure. I fell into the trap of "I can do it tomorrow." The problem with that statement is that it is always today and never tomorrow.

So. Here I am.  A new year and celebrating my ONE year anniversary of my gym membership and I'm questioning what it is that I am looking to get out of the membership. I know that when I was working out regularly, I felt fantastic. I found that counting my calories gave me an accountability that I needed to work out and lose the weight.

I'm ready to do this again. Can I do it? Will I fail? I suppose that it up to me, isn't it? All things are possible as long as you hold yourself accountable.

Wordless Wednesday

The journey.

In the first quarter of 2016, Mr. Lovebug and I made our second biggest decision in our marriage up to this point. We signed the paperwork to start the homebuilding process. We were given the time frame of 6-8 months and that is almost exactly how long it took.

We learned quite a bit during the entire process.

1. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. The timeframe that they give you is total time; it can take several months to break ground and a lot of that wait time is waiting for permits.

2. If you're currently renting, it's a good idea to plan that timeframe around the end of your lease if you're in a lease and not doing month to month.

3. Be involved in the process and if you see something is not what you asked for, ask them to change it sooner rather than later. It's easier to do make the changes if it's not too far into the process.

4. If you are afraid to speak your mind about something, make sure that you have an advocate.

5. Be patient. It's a lot of hard and tedious work to build your home from the ground up. Being kind and patient with your building contractor will go a long way.

6. Don't overestimate where you think the progress should be when you think it should be there. It's a LONG process and rushing will only make for shoddy craftsmanship.

We are still learning from this process and we've been in the house for 11 days. It's crazy how that works.

The Gratitude Project

Almost three weeks ago, on the fifth anniversary of my dad's passing, I started "365 Days of Gratitude." It's a daily effort to find something to be grateful for in everyday. It seems like such a simple thing to do, but, it was surprisingly more difficult than I thought it would be.

Let me start by saying that I am normally a very optimistic person. I try very hard not to let the situations in my life dictate my attitude. To say that some of the recent years of my life have not been easy would be an understatement. Some of those years have been pretty awful and nasty. I became a negative and angry person. I didn't like who I had become. I didn't want that to be the model my children learned from.  I decided that it was time to make a change.

The Gratitude Project is a conscious effort. It takes time. It takes thought. It takes looking at certain things with a different perspective. That is what makes it worth it. It can be life-changing if you allow it to be.

There is something beautiful in every day. Find it. Embrace it. Celebrate it.

Tuesday's 10

1. We're getting into the hotter days of summer and I'm feeling miserable and unmotivated.  However, I still get my walks in because it makes me feel good.

2. My kitchen mojo has been lacking lately but I whipped together an awesome pancake batter for dinner last night.

3. My hubby spoils me; he bought me a FitBit Charge which I've been wearing non-stop from the minute it was fully charged out of the packaging.

4. The most difficult part of my fitness journey is logging my foods. It's also made me realize that I need to make some big changes in the food I eat.

5. I watched Saving Mr. Banks last night; I've been wanting to watch it and finally found it at the library so I checked it out. I loved it.

6. I have also been taking advantage of Netflix's DVD trial offer.  I started with the two DVDs at a time back in 2008 and when we lived in Hawaii I stopped the DVDs because we just weren't watching them fast enough to justify the cost.

7. My hubby does all of the pancake and waffle-making in our house, unless he's not here.  Even when he's not here, I rarely make pancakes or waffles. I'm just not as good at it.

8. This week's menu excites me a little bit.  I am looking forward to trying a lot of new recipes this week.

9. I planned recipes by what was on sale this week and spent less on groceries than I normally would have.  I feel pretty good about that.

10. I've only cooked with quinoa twice but this week I have THREE quinoa recipes to try.  I need more protein in my life.

Tuesday's 10

I've already made more posts this month than I did during the entire year of 2014. Yay me. HA!

It's time to visit Tuesday's 10 again.

1. My second living experience in Texas is vastly different than the first.  I LOVE it here. We have no plans of moving for quite awhile. Everything has worked out just as it was supposed to. So, when God opens the door of opportunity, you go through it and don't question the path or the timing.

2. I have become slightly stamp obsessed.  I have purchased many stamp sets since February but I'm a little bit intimidated by the thought of using them creatively.

3. Many years ago, I implemented a laundry schedule so that I could stay on task.  Confession: sometimes I put off folding the laundry for several days.

4. My favorite part of Mondays is meal planning, but, I've put that off for the last few weeks too.

5. I'm working on finding myself again.  I gained weight and I feel like I've age ten years in the last two.  It's time to work on that.

6. I received a photo session with my girls as a birthday present.  I don't like having pictures done of myself because I'm disappointed with how I look.  The pictures are beautiful and I'm thankful that my friend did this for me, knowing that I wouldn't do it for myself.

(photo credit: Focused Simplicity)

7. The time spent away from my husband during transition from HI to TX was more difficult that I imagined it would be.  It taught us a lot about communication and working together as partners. It also taught me how to do things for myself again. I wouldn't change the experience at all.

8. We got a new dog in June.  She's meant to be a therapy dog for the hubby but I think that she's claimed me as her human.  She is very mellow and lives up to her shepherding heritage.  She's protective of all of her people.

Cleo

9. On the days when my littlest is at preschool, I spend most that day being lazy. I've earned it.

10. I'm in a reading rut and I've been stuck on the same book for the last month.  It might be time to let that book go and pick up another.

Chugging along

We're almost to the midway point of summer vacation. We've had a couple of summer adventures but not many.  I think that I'm going to change that and make a short bucket list for the end of summer.  We've done a short trip to Sea World and hit the matinee but we've yet to get to the pool! I can't believe it.

I've been keeping up with some crafty stuff which surprises me. Aside from that, I feel like I haven't done anything this summer except the normal day to day housework stuff.  A lot of busy work that by itself isn't much but when added up it's a lot.

I'm going to work on a few craft projects before the end of summer; I don't know if I'll finish them.  I've got some new recipes that I've tried that I need to review and a few things to check off my San Antonio bucket list.

Yay for summertime adventures!

Celebrate Life

On July 9, 2012, I nearly lost my best friend.  I'd known her for 8 years at that point.  We'd been through countless hours of conversations and tears. We'd endured a couple of cross-country moves and she'd been a wealth of information to me as I embarked on my divorce and single parenthood journey.  We had drifted a little bit as the miles between us took their toll, but, she'd always been on my mind.

When I received the text that she was having an appendectomy and that the damage was so extensive she nearly lost her life, my own life changed.  Suddenly the miles between us didn't matter, whatever it was that had wedged itself between us didn't matter.  I thanked God for saving her and deciding that her work on Earth wasn't done.

She has been a beacon of light during my darkest moments. She has taught me to embrace the good and bad.  She has taught me to celebrate the JOY in my life and to be thankful for the CRAP that happens too.  She has taught me to stomp GLITTER everywhere because nobody can dull your sparkle.

So, today I celebrate HER.  I celebrate LIFE.  I celebrate LOVE.

Thanks Lord, for keeping her around.

Summer Blog Makeover!

Every summer I try to update the blog to summer graphics.  I think it's the most effort that I've put into my blog in the past seven months.  It's a sad reality.  So much happened over the past six months that I really should have blogged because I know that my situation isn't unique and I'm sure that I've got some insight to offer. For now I'm just going to be happy with just being able to update the graphics.  Our time in Hawaii is done forever, unless we visit again.  I'm both sad and relieved about that.  I am thankful for the lessons I learned there, but, I don't want to be in that emotional dark place again.

Here's to making a plan and sticking to it!

A hui hou!