Thank you, Pinterest!

Today I was determined to bake.  I've been putting it off for a few days.  I don't know if it's because I've been feeling "scrooge-y" or just a lack of motivation.  Perhaps it is a combination of both.  I wake up in the morning and I say to myself. "Self, today you are going to be a baking fiend." Then, I get A ready for school and Lo some breakfast.  I'm spent.  I think I need a nap.  And I go to lay down and read.  Is this depression or exhaustion? I don't really know.


But, I figured today was going to be different.  I slept well.  I woke up feeling pretty good.  And I was determined while I made the grocery list.  I can do this! I will do this! With the help of my lovebugs today I will succeed in baking!


We made a trip to the Airman's Attic.  Were we nuts? Would it be mass mayhem? Thankfully, it was not.  In fact, we found a few cute toys for Lo and books for A.  After the Airman's Attic, we had to go to the NEX and commissary.  This could be a problem.  It's Saturday.  It's going to be crazy busy.  What were we thinking? We were pleasantly surprised when the trip took less than two hours.


After getting home, A and I got to baking and making.  We made Cheesy Ranch Chex Mix.  Eh.  I'd rather not do Chex Mix in a microwave from now on.  Thank you.  The next recipe that we tackled was Candy Cane Blossoms.  Another flop.  My cookies were NOT light and fluffy like the picture.  They looked like... well... let's just say it wasn't pretty!  The final goody that we made was White Chocolate covered pretzels.  Another recipe fail! WHAT?  That's a blow to my ego.  I didn't want to proceed.  Cuz, well, ya know... It's a bad sign.  And, it's a sign to put it to bed and try again another day.  


And that's okay.  We had fun.  I accomplished my goal: to make goodies completely from recipes that I had pinned to Pinterest.  That, my friends, was a success!  It was just a pleasant day with my lovebugs.  I live for THIS moment.

Life. Goes. On.

The holidays are here.  And, I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit.  It feels like I'm just going through the motions.  I get excited.  I get ideas.  Then, weariness sets in.  Depression hits.  I know that I'm not the first to feel this way and I won't be the last.  My grief is MY grief.  How can I compare it to the grief of another? I can't.  I shouldn't.

I didn't intend for the blog to take this direction.  Not now.  That's the funny thing about life.  It has an agenda of it's own.  It doesn't ask me for MY opinion.  It doesn't look at my hopes; my dreams.  It. Just. Goes. On.

Why? Can't I just stop for a moment? Wallow in my grief? Let the tears flow without fear?

Today as I was running errands with my lovebugs, I saw a rainbow in the distance.  It was vibrant.  And as we drove closer to the mountains it got bigger. And then it became a double rainbow.  The rainbow followed us around the valley.  Everywhere I turned, there it was.  It reminded me of the basis of my faith.  A faith that I'd been missing. Rainbows are God's promise to us.  And on a day when I needed it most, God sent a rainbow. The sunshine through the rain.  And I knew that my Dad had something to do with it.  Thanks, Dad! I needed that today.  <3

Life goes on.  And so will I.

A belated birthday wish to Lola!

Happy birthday baby girl! I'm blessed and honored to be your Mama.

You have made us laugh, uncontrollably.  We've cried in frustration.  We've worried about the coughs, the sneezes and the fevers. It's been worth it.  You are fun, spunky and you are entirely unique.  You laugh loud, you love bigger.

I love you!

On 30 November 2010, I gave birth to a baby girl who completed our family.  She is wonderful finish. I'm sad that I'm not going to have more, but I know that this is what it's about.