Another day. I'm awake. I'm alive. That's the best that I can hope for. This summer has been somewhat more difficult for me than last summer. Last summer was busy, filled with PCS preparation. This summer, while still busy, has been hard on me emotionally. I thought that saying good bye to my friends in HI was going to be the most difficult thing that I've had to do in a long time. I was wrong. Living with the reality of what it means to be here has been harder than I could have imagined.
I need to make changes in my life. Food. Exercise. Social interaction. I need to change my outlook on the situation. I need to cultivate my relationship with my husband. We have struggled quite a bit this year and our relationship is bruised but not broken. We can heal. We will heal. It's not going to be instantaneous. It'll take work. It'll take time. We're worth it.
So, everyday that I wake up and I'm alive is a successful day. And sometimes, at the end of the day, you just have to say "I'll try again tomorrow."
15 July 2013
Summer in Texas. HOT HOT HOT
In my thirty-five years of life, I have lived in six states: MN, WA, NC, CO, HI and TX. I have experienced several different weather elements. MN has unbearable winters because of the cold and unbearable summers because of the humidity. WA has mild winters and even milder summers but lots of rain. NC has a mild winters with little snow and somewhat cooler temperatures and summers that bring heat, humidity and bugs that together are moderately annoying but manageable. I spent only late summer/early fall in CO and have no complaints about the weather in any way. HI is a near perfect 80 degrees in every season and the only changes you really notice is the rain that comes more often during the rainy season which is October-April. TX winters have vastly different temperatures from day to day and while it doesn't snow, it certainly gets cold enough to and the summers have had the warmest temperatures that I have ever encountered, reaching the triple digits.
It's safe to say that summer in Texas is HOT HOT HOT. There isn't a problem with humidity which I am thankful for but the heat does get unbearable. Yesterday it was a high of 97 and I've got the AC set to 75 during the day but it felt like the AC was running all day. I'm trying to save some money on the heating and cooling bill but I don't think that the AC running all day is helping the cause at all. Not only is hot, there aquifer level is low so this means very little relief from running through a sprinkler. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve running through the sprinkler. I'd love it if my children could experience the same happy memories.
Summertime is grilling season. Unfortunately, we left our grill behind in the last PCS. We didn't think that it would make the trip across the ocean because of the condition that it was in. While we were living in HI, we used the grill almost daily. I miss it. There is something wonderful about the taste of charred chicken. I don't enjoy standing over the stove in the summertime because it feels much hotter. That being said, I've found my kitchen mojo again and started to get creative with the meals again. It feels good. I love that I have had more successes with new recipes than not lately. I feel a sense of direction again. It's pulling me out of the funk. I just wish that it wasn't so hot!
The point of this rambling post is that we may be put in circumstances or places that we don't necessarily want to be. How you handle them is up to you. If you want to be miserable about the situation, be miserable. But, in the end all you will be is miserable. Is it worth it? Maybe. Maybe not. I know that I was (and still am, at times) madder than heck about being "stuck" in Texas. I didn't want to enjoy myself. I didn't want to have FUN. I was unhappy about leaving my "framily" in HI. I was angry about orders changing at the last minute. I was angry about all the crap that transpired as a result of us moving here. So, I wallowed in my misery. And, I still do form time to time. Then I realized that just because nothing can change for a few years, I can absolutely change my outlook on it. That's what I'm doing. Slowly but surely I am finding my motivation, inspiration and mojo. I don't have to like it here but I do have to live here.
I'll be sharing some of the recent recipes on the blog in the upcoming days. Thank you to those that are reading this blog. It means a lot to me. It's not much, but, it's a spot where I can release a lot of what I'm feeling. Life is messy and I'm no exception.
It's safe to say that summer in Texas is HOT HOT HOT. There isn't a problem with humidity which I am thankful for but the heat does get unbearable. Yesterday it was a high of 97 and I've got the AC set to 75 during the day but it felt like the AC was running all day. I'm trying to save some money on the heating and cooling bill but I don't think that the AC running all day is helping the cause at all. Not only is hot, there aquifer level is low so this means very little relief from running through a sprinkler. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve running through the sprinkler. I'd love it if my children could experience the same happy memories.
Summertime is grilling season. Unfortunately, we left our grill behind in the last PCS. We didn't think that it would make the trip across the ocean because of the condition that it was in. While we were living in HI, we used the grill almost daily. I miss it. There is something wonderful about the taste of charred chicken. I don't enjoy standing over the stove in the summertime because it feels much hotter. That being said, I've found my kitchen mojo again and started to get creative with the meals again. It feels good. I love that I have had more successes with new recipes than not lately. I feel a sense of direction again. It's pulling me out of the funk. I just wish that it wasn't so hot!
The point of this rambling post is that we may be put in circumstances or places that we don't necessarily want to be. How you handle them is up to you. If you want to be miserable about the situation, be miserable. But, in the end all you will be is miserable. Is it worth it? Maybe. Maybe not. I know that I was (and still am, at times) madder than heck about being "stuck" in Texas. I didn't want to enjoy myself. I didn't want to have FUN. I was unhappy about leaving my "framily" in HI. I was angry about orders changing at the last minute. I was angry about all the crap that transpired as a result of us moving here. So, I wallowed in my misery. And, I still do form time to time. Then I realized that just because nothing can change for a few years, I can absolutely change my outlook on it. That's what I'm doing. Slowly but surely I am finding my motivation, inspiration and mojo. I don't have to like it here but I do have to live here.
I'll be sharing some of the recent recipes on the blog in the upcoming days. Thank you to those that are reading this blog. It means a lot to me. It's not much, but, it's a spot where I can release a lot of what I'm feeling. Life is messy and I'm no exception.
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