Joy in the journey.

I don't know why I'm feeling the "funk" lately.  Perhaps it's related to the phases of PCS.  This was explained to me on an internet forum that I am active in.

Here's how one Navy brat explained it:

Phase 1- the beginning, no friends and awkward outings. Feeling very left out like I won't find a place here.

Phase 2- finally fitting in! Feeling comfortable and running into people while out and chatting. Have usually found my "best friend" by now. I find one everywhere I move.

Phase 3- nearing our end of the tour. Getting moody and antsy and depressed at having to be ripped away from friends yet again. Ready to rip the band aid off and move already! Especially since I'm usually the last of the friend circle to move

There is a lot of truth to this.  Right now, I'm in the first phase.  We've been in San Antonio for three months.  I'm not entirely friendless, but, I don't have a close-knit group of girlfriends like I had in Hawaii.  I am feeling left out and like I don't have a place to belong.

This summer I was in the third phase and I'm not sure which was is worse.  Both phases cause feelings of angst.  What I had to realize that my feelings were okay to have but it is NOT okay to stay "stuck" in any one phase.  You've got to get out there and do something.  Make your own destiny.  You must choose to find the joy in your journey.  If you don't, you won't ever move forward.

Life lessons are hard.  Nobody said it would be easy.  They did say it would be worth it.

So.  Here I am.  Finding joy in the journey.

Time heals all wounds.

Does it? I mean, really? Does time really heal all wounds?  What about the wounds that are so deep that nobody knows that they are there except for you? I'd like to hold on to the hope that it does.  I've been hurt pretty badly in the last year plus.  By friends who were frenemies.  By friends who chose me as the scapegoat.

Today has been particularly difficult for me.  I'm feeling the hurt so strongly today. Follow the tracks of my tears.

Hurt. Pain. Sad. ANGRY. I have felt each of these emotions today. And strongly.

Faith, trust and pixie dust.

Life. One part faith, one part trust and one part pixie dust? Faith. Confidence or trust in a person or thing. My husband. My children. Belief that is not based on proof. Belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion. My faith. Not my religion.  FAITH.

Faith and trust coincide.  Why is that? Because you not have faith in a person or thing without trusting. The concept seems so complex, yet, it's really very simple.

Trust.  Trust in people to do the right thing.  Trust that the plan will work out accordingly.  Trust that there isn't always a set plan in motion but there is a purpose to everything.

Pixie dust.  It's the dust that makes Tinkerbell fly.  It's not easy to see, but, she knows that it's there. Isn't that how we experience our lives? We don't always see what propels us but we know that it's there.

My faith has been lacking lately.  It might even be gone.  I am lost.  I am angry.  I am bitter.  And, I've let myself become jaded.

Where is the faith, trust and pixie dust? I've got to find it.  I've got to bring it back into my life.  Life loses direction when faith isn't there.

This is a journey.  A journey to me.

Adventures in PCSing [part three]

After the movers came, we lived in our *mostly* empty house until 22 August.  We had borrowed furniture from the loan locker which looked like 1970's aloha hotel furniture.  Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful that we were able to borrow furniture, I just wanted to see the humor in a situation that was extremely stressful.  We slept on hard mattresses; we ate on the floor.  We watched Netflix on our laptops.  It was a lot like camping out.  It taught me to be thankful for the things that I have!

We moved in to Navy lodging on Ford Island on 22 August.  It was a beautiful suite with two queen beds, a kitchenette and a living room area with a pull-out couch.  If we were going to be stuck in lodging, this was the perfect place to be "stuck."  We were very close to the playground and it was pet-friendly so we were able to keep all of the animals in the suite with us.  We were in lodging for ten days, but, we jam-packed those days with sight-seeing and spending time with friends.

Time was passing too quickly.  There was so much to do and just not enough time to do it! It's so hard to say good bye to friends.

When pcsing it always best to expect the unexpected because the plan RARELY goes the way you want it too.  We started with a delayed flight.  Our flight was supposed to leave at 1845.  It was delayed until 2230.  Flying off island is almost always an overnight flight.  YUCK.  So, instead of arriving in San Antonio at 0920, we arrived around 1545.  That included a slight delay from Dallas to SATX.  Upon arrival, there was no sponsor to greet us and the vehicle that we had purchased for use crapped out on us two days before we were supposed to get there.  Thankfully we had a friend that we knew from her time in HI that picked us up.  She took us to lodging where we quickly found out that our reservation had been "lost." At this point, we had to find a hotel off base.  We chose the Drury Inn on the Riverwalk.  It was beautiful, comfy and just the right price.  We had dinner at Texas Land and Cattle and nearly fell asleep during dinner because we were so tired.

The next day was Labor Day and we had lunch at Mo Mak's and checked out the new rental.  It was perfect aside from the fact that there was one detail missing: the fridge.  We were informed that it's common not to have a fridge included in rentals here in TX.  Oy.  The next couple of days were spent finding a fridge, fixing the vehicle and getting internet set up.

We picked up our car in Dallas in the middle of September and our household goods arrived at the end of September.  It's been an adventure to say the least.  I'm glad that we're here.  It's just been a long road to get here.

Adventures in PCSing [part two]

When we moved to HI in 2008, I assumed that I would have plenty of time to do all of the tourist-y things.  How wrong I was! We attempted to make up for that during our last month on the island.  Here's montage of pictures from our island adventures.

Along the channel, after a breakfast at Wright Bros. Cafe (one of our favorite breakfast spots)

Looking at the fish in the water! Along the channel.

Annika at the airport, the day she came home.

Fun at the Splash Park

Annika and Mikey, heading to the pool.

Cassi, heading to the pool

A sleepy Lola and Daddy at Dixie Grill, our favorite BBQ spot.

Travis and I at Yardhouse, our favorite "brewery"

Travis photobombing Annika on her first day of school.

Annika on her first day of school.

Annika at the Honolulu Zoo.

Lola at the Honolulu Zoo

Mikey at the Honolulu Zoo.

The view from the summit of Diamond Head Crater (August 16, 2012)

The view from the summit of Diamond Head Crater (August 16, 2012)

Diamond Head Crater.

Stairs at Diamond Head Crater.

Travis on the Star of Honolulu Dinner Cruise.  Anniversary dinner.

Me.

Diamond Head Crater as seen from the dinner cruise.

Windy and chilly.

Honolulu.

Travis.

Pre-parasailing iced tea.

Menchies!

Zoo.

In our empty house.

Queen Emma Summer Palace

Memorial.

USS Bowfin.